Recently I’ve been feeling rather homesick. I’m loving luck and all that i’ve been doing but I do miss home. It sits there, this desire for the familiar, in the pit of stomach just reminding on occasion that I miss that sense of familiarity.
It’s in bed, cuddled deep under the duvet to escape your chill, that it suddenly dawns on me that i’m alone. Well, i’m not. I have some amazing flatmates and my parents are only a phone call away. And yet, I still feel alone.
It’s a thought that curls round and round my head until I fall asleep of I pull back my curtain. Looking out my window, half fogged, half frosted, I realise that no matter how alone I feel, i’m not. Cars dart in red and white light across the M4 and in the distance there is London. The busiest city in the country. I’m lying there, just watching those lights, and it all fades away. The sadness and the doubt, I know that I’m here, that i belong here and i’ve made it.
And although the glass is frosted and the image feels miles away. One day I will have truly made it. I will have completed my course and be out there performing.
And that’s a promise I make to you, Autumn. One day I will make it!
Book Total of 2016 –